Этот неподражаемый Дживс! / The Inimitable Jeeves

About fifty yards east of the Ritz there is a tea-and-bun shop[13 - tea-and-bun shop – закусочная, кафе], and into this young Bingo dived like a rabbit. Before I had time to say a word we were at a table, with a pool of coffee left there by a previous client.

I couldn’t quite understand the situation. Bingo was not a millionaire, but he has always had a fair amount. Why, then, has he invited the girl at this eatery?

The waitress arrived. A rather pretty girl.

“Aren’t we going to wait?” I started to say to Bingo, but I caught sight of his face, and stopped.

“Mabel,” said Bingo, “this is Bertie Wooster, a friend of mine.”

“Pleased to meet you,” she said. “Nice morning.”

“Pleased to meet you, too,” I said.

“You see I’m wearing the tie,” said Bingo.

“It suits you beautiful,” said the girl.

Personally, if anyone had told me that a tie like that suited me, I should have risen and fight them, regardless of their age and sex; but poor old Bingo simply got all flustered with gratification[14 - got all flustered with gratification – расплылся от удовольствия], and smirked.

“Well, what’s it going to be today?” asked the girl. Bingo studied the menu.

“I’ll have a cup of cocoa, cold veal and ham pie, slice of fruit cake, and a macaroon. Same for you, Bertie?”

I gazed at him, revolted. He thinks I am going to insult my stomach with that! And he has been a friend of mine all these years.

“Or how about a bit of hot steak-pudding[15 - steak-pudding – мясной пуддинг], with some wine?” said Bingo.

You know, love can change a man completely. This fellow before me, who spoke carelessly of macaroons and cocoa, was the man who had ordered sole frite au gourmet aux champignons and the best wine some day. Ghastly! Ghastly!

A roll and butter and a small coffee seemed the only things on the list that were eatable, so I chose them, and Mabel went away.

“Well?” said Bingo rapturously.

He wanted my opinion of the female poisoner[16 - female poisoner – отравительница] who had just left us.

“Very nice,” I said.

He seemed dissatisfied.

“You don’t think she’s the most wonderful girl you ever saw?” he said.

“Oh, absolutely!” I said.