Этот неподражаемый Дживс! / The Inimitable Jeeves

Was my uncle pleased to see you?”

“Absolutely. I can’t understand why.”

“Oh, that’s all right. I just rang up to explain. The fact is, old man, I told him that you were the author of those books I’ve been reading to him.”

“What!”

“Yes, I said that “Rosie M. Banks” was your pen-name[38 - pen-name – псевдоним], and you didn’t want it generally known, because you were a modest man. He’ll listen to you now. A bright idea, right? Well, go on, old lad, and remember that I can’t possibly marry on what I’ve got now.

And he rang off. At that moment the gong sounded, and my host came downstairs.

I always look back to that lunch with a sort of regret. It was the best lunch in my life, and I could not appreciate it. Subconsciously, if you know what I mean, I could see it was pretty special, but I was shocked with the ghastly situation in which young Bingo had landed me.

Old Little began:

“My nephew has probably told you that I have been studying your books?”

“Yes. He mentioned it. How—er—how did you like them?”

He gazed reverently at me.

“Mr Wooster, I am not ashamed to say that the tears came into my eyes as I listened to them. It amazes me that a man as young as you can be able to learn human nature so deeply; to write novels so true, so human, so moving, so vital!”

“Oh, it’s nothing special,” I said.

It was terribly hot in the room.

“Do you find the room a little warm?” he asked.

“Oh, no, no, rather not. Just right.”

“Then it’s the pepper. If my cook has a fault—which I am not prepared to admit—it is that she adores pepper. By the way, do you like her cooking?”

I was so relieved that we had changed the subject that I shouted approval.

“I am delighted to hear it, Mr Wooster. I may be prejudiced, but to my mind that woman is a genius.

“Absolutely!” I said.

“She has been with me seven years, and in all that time I have not known her guilty of a single lapse from the highest standard. Except once, in the winter of 1917, a certain mayonnaise of hers was not soft enough. But there had been several air-raids[39 - air-raids – воздушные налёты] about that time, and no doubt the poor woman was shaken. But nothing is perfect in this world, Mr Wooster.