The Code of the Woosters / Фамильная честь Вустеров

”

“No doubt you will be glad to see your aunt. She arrives tonight, I understand.”

“You aren’t talking about my Aunt Dahlia?”

“Of course I’m talking about your Aunt Dahlia.”

“You mean Aunt Dahlia is coming here tonight?”

“Exactly.”

This was nasty news. This sudden decision to follow me to Totleigh Towers could mean only one thing: that Aunt Dahlia had become mistrustful of my will to win, and had felt it best to come and stand over me and see that I did not shirk the appointed task.

“Tell me,” continued Gussie, “what sort of voice is she in these days? I ask, because if she is going to make those hunting noises of hers at me during her visit, I shall be compelled to tick her off[70 -

 – поставить её на место] pretty sharply. I had enough of that sort of thing when I was staying at Brinkley.”

“What’s happened to you, Gussie?” I asked.

“Eh?”

“Since when have you been like this?”

“I don’t understand you.

“Well, you are saying you’re going to tick Aunt Dahlia off. And you are telling Spode not to talk rot. By the way, what was he talking rot about?”

“I forgot. He talks so much rot.”

“I wouldn’t have the nerve to tell Spode not to talk rot,” I said frankly.

“Well, to tell you the truth, Bertie,” said Gussie, “neither would I, a week ago.”

“What happened a week ago?”

“I had a spiritual rebirth. Thanks to Jeeves.

“Ah!”

“We are as little children, frightened of the dark, and Jeeves is the wise nurse who takes us by the hand and—”

“Switches the light on?”

“Precisely. Would you care to hear about it?”

“Of course.”

I settled myself in my chair. Gussie stood silent for a moment. He took off his spectacles and polished them.

“A week ago, Bertie,” he began, “my affairs had reached a crisis. I discovered that I would have to make a speech at the wedding breakfast.

“Well, naturally.”

“I know, but for some reason I had not foreseen it, and the news came as a blow. And shall I tell you why I was so overcome by stark horror at the idea of making a speech at the wedding breakfast? It was because Roderick Spode and Sir Watkyn Bassett would be in the audience. Do you know Sir Watkyn intimately?”

“Not very. He once fined me five quid at his police court.