Остров Харона. The Island of Charon. Премия им. А. де Сент-Экзюпери / A. de Saint-Exupery Award (Билингва: Rus / Eng)

Life is too short

Michael… I wished he had been with me on the Island!

We never spent vacation together… I used to send him my erotic pictures from the Greek islands asking, «Which girl do you prefer? Choose!» to get in response, «Let’s take them all!» He had a good sense of humor…

Yes, perhaps Michael was the only man sent to me from Above, whom I would marry immediately, having quite consciously agreed with the fact that he would cheat on me after the wedding in the same way, as he cheated on his wife with me.

It was strange for me that many girls were lost in deep illusions concerning the possibility of changing a man via some stamp in his passport. I never understood those who used to read phones, to look out for a strange hair on clothes, to sniff out foreign smells and to perform other functions of a private detective. Having noticed the evidence, probably I would have said something acrimonious, asking not to bother me with it any more.

Was I jealous of Michael for his wife? No. Did I secretly want them to get divorced? I didn’t even think in that direction.

His wife was an axiom. Besides, almost from the first day of our acquaintance, Michael hammered into my mind the idea that I was absolutely free and could find another man at any moment with the aim to be friends or to get married, and he would be sincerely happy for me and even ready to celebrate my wedding, because there was no Michael in my life and would never be.

From time to time, I honestly tried to get acquaintance with someone with the aim of creating a family, considering exclusively free boys, and sometimes I even shared the results of such search with Michael.

Apparently, it was my destiny. I attracted not «my» men, such as chronic alcoholics, hardened gigolos, uncompromising atheists and sexual perverts. With all the wealth of choice, there was no alternative to Michael.

Perhaps for the spirit of freedom each of our rendezvous, which could become the last one, turned out into a bright holiday, and such a format of relations withstood a rather long test of time.

Michael never gave me money or gifts, but the most magical February the 14

 was connected with him. Michael just used to catch for us a unique moment of «here and now», in which we found ourselves shining as the Sun.

However, the feeling of being unoccupied and not belonging to anybody poisoned me.