Трое в лодке, не считая собаки / Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)

I have not got housemaid’s knee. Why I have not got housemaid’s knee, I cannot tell you; but the fact remains that I have not got it. Everything else, however, I have got.”

Then he examined me, and then he hit me over the chest when I wasn’t expecting it. After that, he sat down and wrote out a prescription, and folded it up and gave it me, and I put it in my pocket and went out.

I did not open it. I took it to the nearest chemist’s [12 - chemist’s – аптека], and handed it in. The man read it, and then handed it back.

I read the prescription. It said:

“1 lb. [13 - 1 lb. – 1 фунт] beefsteak, with 1 pt. [14 - 1 pt. – 1 пинта] bitter beer every 6 hours.

1 ten-mile walk every morning.

1 bed at 11 sharp every night.”

I followed the directions, with the happy result – my life was saved, and is still going on.

But going back to the liver-pill circular, I had the symptoms, beyond all mistake, the chief among them being �a general disinclination to work of any kind [15 - a general disinclination to work of any kind – общее отвращение к любому труду]’.

What I suffer in that way no tongue can tell [16 - no tongue can tell – невозможно описать]. From my earliest infancy I have been a martyr to it. As a boy, the disease hardly ever left me for a day. My family did not know, then, that it was my liver. Medical science was in a far less advanced state than now, and they thought it was laziness.

“Are you still sleeping,” they would say, “get up and do something for your living, can’t you?” – not knowing, of course, that I was ill.

We sat there for half-an-hour, describing to each other our maladies. I explained to George and William Harris how I felt when I got up in the morning, and William Harris told us how he felt when he went to bed; and George told us how he felt in the night.

Suddenly, Mrs. Poppets [17 - Mrs. Poppets – миссис Попитс] knocked at the door to know if we were ready for supper.

I seemed took no interest in my my food an unusual thing for me – and didn’t want any usual thing for me – and I didn’t want any cheese.

We refilled our glasses, lit our pipes, and resumed the discussion upon our state of health.

“What we want is rest,” said Harris.

“Rest and a complete change,” said George.